How do you make friends as an adult is a legit question and one that needs an answer, and I think I might just have that answer.
And don’t worry if you are an introvert trying to make friends; all these answers have you in mind.
How to Make Friends as an Adult
Let’s all say this together, “making new friends is hard and a little scary.” When we were kids, we would go with the flow and be open to new friendships, but the older we got, the more life either happened to us, or we were happening to life (however you want to see it. lol); we became closed off. And even though we might have plenty of good reasons to become more private, this shouldn’t keep us from living a life full of good laughs with great people.
I know there can be many reasons why it’s hard to make friends. It could be you might have had a falling out with a close friend, and now it’s hard for you to trust, you are an invert, or you get social anxiety. There could be a thousand and one reasons, but today we put those to the side to try and find the right people. To find your people.
How to make new friends as an adult
First things first, you need to be okay with not being everyone’s cup of tea. The people who are for you will be for you. Another thing is that all friends do not belong in one circle. Just like there are layers to you, there are layers to friendships. You might find a friend that is great for having laughs and traveling with, but that doesn’t necessarily mean they need to be added to your best friend list. I believe that when we understand that everyone is not going to be a close friend, we can move better, and when we come into a friendship loving ourselves, we can give the relationship a chance to thrive.
1. Join a group
There are plenty of groups out there.
- You can join a connect group at your church.
- Sign up for a class that you find interesting.
- Join a committee at your child’s school.
- Join a book club.
- Volunteer at your local charity.
- Join a committee at your school.
- Join a Facebook group related to your interest in your area. So many people become friends online and set up a meet and greet. It’s like dating online but looking for a friendship instead of a courtship.
2. Set up a coffee date
I absolutely love coffee dates. They are so easy to schedule, and because it’s intended to be a coffee date, it will not last too long. It will last as long as you want, and that’s always a plus. They usually have games at the coffee shop, or you can bring your own games if you are into games. Also, you might meet a friendly group of people there and hit it off with them.
3. Host a dinner party
Hosting a dinner party allows you to build a community. Inviting people over and just getting to know them more over dinner is always a plus. I know this can be a little bit of a scary move, especially if you’re an invert, so take this step whenever you are ready
4. Be open
Be open to knowing about them. Asking questions about their lives and what they like. I learned this from the book How to Win Friends and Influence People “You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.” Dale Carnegie.
5. Attend Events. Conferences, Pop shops, Markets
Find events in your area and add them to your calendar. You can always meet new people at any event as long as you are open to meeting them. I have met many great people at markets.
6. Start the conversation
I know that statement might seem like a “duh” moment, but it can be scary to start a conversation out of thin air, especially when you don’t know someone. Start the conversation wherever you find yourself and see someone you wouldn’t mind being friends with. If you are in line at the coffee shop and the person behind you is checking out the menu, ask them if they have been here and what they like. If you are at a kid’s soccer game and see someone start asking them questions about who they are out here to see ( I got that one from my dad. lol).
I believe you can do it! Remember, it’s essential to have a tribe to help you in life. So, I’ll leave this scripture here for you.
Proverbs 27:9 The heartfelt counsel of a friend is as sweet as perfume and incense.
Go out and make a friend today. You got this!
